So the New Year has begun along with all kinds of unrealistic and irrelevant resolutions. But, as I see it, it is important one looks one’s best by the 21st December, so despite feeling lethargic and miserable the diet has commenced. I put such emphasis on this year’s tenacity to slim as it is likely to be the last year of resolutions and so one should really stick to them. It is particularly important as there are bound to be some extraordinarily extravagant end of the world celebrations for which I want to be skeletal, bronzed and groomed to within an inch of my life. What will make my newly formed image even more magical is that many (well, I’m hoping anyway) will react to the news we are all to perish in some horrible global catastrophe later this year with my initial optimism and ensure they enjoy their final 11 and a bit months fully; by my reasoning this should leave me looking wonderful in a room full of over-indulged, gluttonous fatties and when the party ends and we celebrate the continuation of the human race I will be over-whelmed with utter joy that I did not use the potential end of the world as an excuse to do nothing but gorge.
With the end of the festive season the regular repetitive routines recommence, no more long luxurious lie-ins followed by champagne and chocolate breakfasts then full-day shopping excursions or duvet days; no more parties simply for the sake partying; no more fun and frolics with family and friends. It’s no wonder January is the most depressing month of the year. I, however, am feeling strangely sanguine, sensible, sagacious, serene, sane and superb; shocking, I know, especially given my up-coming yearly tantrum. For the last 6-years this has involved standing teary-eyed gazing in the mirror trying to convince myself I still look 18 despite the early onset of crows-feet, the deep-set smile lines, sagging blackened bags consuming my under eyes and the greying completion that was once glowing and youthful. BFF2 has just had her 29th and, to quote, “it was the nicest birthday ever” which made me hopeful that this round of growing-old (or birthdays as most people call them) would go swimmingly for all of us, however, once removing her rose-tinted spectacles and recovering from the sparkling rose she too had some reservations about ageing. I don’t think having a new year so close to your ageing day does you any favours at all, it’s like you lose 2 years of your life in one foul swoop and all those unfulfilled goals for the previous calendar year also become unfulfilled for your year of age too.
Yet I am still so bright, breezy, bubbly and buoyant, and all without any medication! I feel 2012 is going to be a good year.
Happy New Year all! x